7 Things to Develop Lasting Behavior Change

One of the reasons that we fail to accomplish our goals is that we do not formulate a strong enough reason behind the goal.  Starting a new habit is hard.  It takes a lot of effort for something to become a habit and odds are that you are going to fail repeatedly.  If we have a powerful “Why Statement”  then that can push us forward even when motivation begins to wane. ↓

Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, has put together a great list that will help increase the odds that we develop lasting change.  If we are serious about developing a new helpful behavior in our lives or our children’s lives then Harris’ “7 R’s for Lasting Change” will be something that you will want to follow.

The 7 R’s are: Reminders, Records, Rewards, Routines, Relationships, Reflecting, and Restructuring.

1 — Reminders

Before behaviors grow to be habits, we need to be reminded to do them.  You probably do not need a reminder to brush your teeth anymore.  However, if you are trying to start a habit of praying for your children every morning after you drop them off at school then you will need a reminder.  With any new behavior we will increase our odds of doing it if we set a reminder for ourselves.  Some examples of reminders include: setting an alarm on your phone to go off at a particular time, sticky notes, drawing a dot on the back of your hand with a marker, taping an index card to the bathroom mirror, changing your phone or computer background, etc. Please don’t fall into the trap of “I will remember,” because you won’t.

2 — Records

Keep track of when you do the new behavior.  Jot it down on your phone or even better in an actual notebook.  Write down the benefits of the new behavior and what the costs are if you continue in your old habits. 

3 — Rewards

Doing what you said you were going to do can be rewarding itself. However, research shows that even the tiniest reward, like a fist pump, can help the process of developing habits.  Audibly saying to yourself “good job” or “you did it” can also train the brain to see this behavior as a positive.  Material rewards aren’t bad either! Rewarding yourself with something you enjoy can be a great way to help continue the process of developing a habit. 

4 — Routines

One way to increase the likelihood that a new behavior will stick is to try to do the behavior at the same time every day.  Think of a behavior that you would like to add to your life.  Is there a way to fit this into your already established daily routine? 

5 — Relationships

Bring someone else in.  Others can bring accountability and encouragement.  Better yet, partner with someone who is wanting to accomplish the same things you are.  Most behavior changes that people want to make circles around relationships.  “I want to lose weight so I can be around for my children”, I want to “stop arguing with my parents”, I want to “be a better father”.  Looking to improve relationships is a great reason to change our behavior. 

6 — Reflecting

Reflecting is something that we fail to do enough in our lives.  Take time to stop and think back about what is working and what is not.  Are you being consistent in this new behavior? Why or why not? What thoughts or emotions are getting in your way? What is triggering your old patterns?  Is this behavior that you are trying to change actually accomplishing what you thought it would accomplish? Sometimes we aim for something only to realize that what we were aiming for wasn’t exactly what we wanted. In that case, we restructure. 

7 — Restructuring

After we do some reflecting we can either restructure our behavior all together or we can set ourselves up for a greater likelihood of success.  Changing our surroundings can make a major difference in the odds of our success.  Having a hard time remembering to take your vitamins?  Leave them on the counter next to the coffee.  Late night ice cream? Make a grocery list (without ice cream) and stick to it! Lay your running outfit and shoes out before you go to sleep. Put your Bible and journal on the kitchen table right before bed so it will be there waiting for you in the morning.  Set yourself up for success!