The Danger of Hurriedness
By Amber Bateman — Greenville Counseling Associates
It was a gorgeous blue sky April morning. I was on my way home from church when I noticed that a train was on the tracks ahead and the road was blocked. Cars in front of me were making three point turns and turning around. I immediately felt that urge too. But in order for me to get home, I would have to drive 15 to 20 minutes another way just to get to the point right beyond the tracks.
All of a sudden a thought hit me: what if I just waited? It was a Sunday morning and I literally had nothing else I had to do for a couple of hours. My plans for after church were to putter around my garden and spend time with my son, who at that moment was quietly munching on his snack and looking out the window from the back seat. Why did I feel the need to rush home?
We live in a fast culture. Do it quicker, more efficiently—this is the cry of nearly every aspect of modern life: from business, transportation, and education; to food, spirituality, and family life. Even modern “leisure” can be in a hurry. There’s so much to do, we say. We have to get things done. As a culture, we all feel this invisible hand behind us, sometimes shoving, sometimes a soft nudge, but always pressure. Pressure to get ahead. Pressure to catch up on something. We constantly feel a need to get ahead while also feeling chronically behind.
Living this way can have obvious effects on our mental health. Chronic hurriedness leads to chronic stress which keeps us in fight or flight mode, with our heart rate elevated, mind racing, and cortisol hormones flooding our body. The sympathetic nervous system that is designed to benefit us in a crisis becomes a way of life. Being in rush makes us more physically tense, and more irritable with our loved ones
So what is the alternative to a culture of hurriedness? Slowing down and being present. By slowing down I don’t mean we all quit our jobs and move to a deserted island. By slowing down I don’t necessarily mean that you should never have a busy day. Busy days—and by that I mean days where life circumstances require a lot of your time and attention—will happen to all of us. The difference is in being present, mindful of what where you actually are in the moment, rather than living in the future.
That morning at the train tracks was a turning point for me. My son and I moved up the line of cars as they all turned around, unable to wait. When we got to the tracks, I rolled down the windows and turned off the car. I was struck breathless at the beauty of the birds singing and the cool breeze that flowed into our parked car. After about 10 peaceful minutes, the train began to move and I was almost sad to see it go because it felt so freeing to watch all of the other cars turn around frantically to rush off, while my son and I were able to slow down and be present. You can too.
Three tips to avoid hurriedness and improve your mental health:
Stop at red lights when driving. Stop not just your car; stop your “productivity” as well. Resist the urge to check your phone. Use the opportunity to take a deep breath, check in with yourself, and gather your thoughts. The average red light in the United States is between 45 and 120 seconds—less than a minute and a half. Trying to cram in random “productivity” into that time is not worth the risk to your safety or your mental health.
Walk or bike instead of drive if you can. In his book, “The Little Book of Lykke,” Meik Wiking notes that happy people (people who report being more satisfied with their lives) often choose walking or riding their bikes as their preferred mode of transportation. One of the reasons is because it is more grounding. Meaning that you are engaging your five senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch), which can help you be more present in the moment and reduce mental clutter and anxiety. If walking or biking is not doable for you, try driving a slower route with the windows down for similar benefits.
Engage in mono tasking. This is simply the opposite of that great American pastime—multitasking. Instead of trying to kill two birds with one stone and get as many things possible done at once, experiment with just focusing on one task at a time. If you are on a lunch break at work, try simply eating your meal and observe your surroundings. Resist the temptation to look something up, scroll social media, pay a bill online, or respond to non-emergency texts. You may be fascinated, as I was, that the whole world did not implode into a million pieces because I slowed down long enough to dedicate 15 uninterrupted minutes of my life to simply eating my lunch. In fact, you may discover that you become more ‘productive,’ more alive, and more useful to others.
“Living in fast forward is not really living at all.”
–Carl Honore